I titled this with the cliché distance makes the heart grow fonder because I understand this now that I live far from all my friends and family. I think I took for granted the convenience there was when I could visit them on a whim.
When my in-laws left on Sunday, I cried, but don’t tell them! My father-in-law is the sap in the family, I can’t take his place! I’ve really grown fond of them, and I hate to see them leave. I’ve known them for 10ish years now. That’s a DECADE. Though, I just learned that my father-in-law salts his pizza. UMM WHAT? You think you know someone and then they salt their pizza.
I don’t know if it’s because I overthink everything, but I have difficulty making friends and building relationships. When we left to move to Minnesota, I felt like I was in a good place with a lot of my relationships. I had some new friends, I felt like I was in a good place with my in-laws, and I also stopped calling the friends I met through my husband “my husband’s friends” and I started referring to them as “our friends.” That was a big step for me.
At first, the break from plans was nice
The first year here, I felt pretty good. I enjoyed the break from having plans. When we lived back in NH, we had a party or dinner or wedding every.freaking.weekend. And I’m not overexaggerating. One time I pretended to forget about a bridal shower, but was reminded conveniently the day before. RATS. (In my defense, I didn’t know the bride. My husband was a childhood friend of the groom, so I was only invited by association.) I went and it was actually fun.
I remember there was one Saturday when we lived in NH where we didn’t have anything to do, and it was amazing. I sat in my bed and drank wine. Pretty solid Saturday afternoon if you ask me.
Now, we’ve been here for almost two years and I feel as though I’m losing my relationships with everyone. I’m out of the loop and it hurts. I genuinely like Minnesota, but I am tired of being far away from the people I worked so hard to build relationships with.
Who knew it’d be me who caved
There are ways I can try more of course, but sending a text is a lot different than actual face to face interaction. I didn’t think I would ever say this, but I want to move back. This whole time I thought I’d be the one to be strong.
My husband, the extrovert, needs human interaction to thrive. I can’t believe I’m telling you this, but before I had the baby, I’d go days without leaving the house. And because I wasn’t leaving the house, I also didn’t see the need to shower or get dressed. I’d roll out of bed right before I needed to sign on to work and throw on whatever sweats I was wearing the day before.
Anyway, I’m embarrassing myself, but my point is that I can be a professional hermit—or at least I thought I could be. Two years out here and I’m itching to go back. Hermit days are over. I’m shocking myself as I type this. Who knew becoming a mom would help me grow?
For now, I’m not going to bug my husband to move back. I don’t want to pressure him to take a job that isn’t a right fit for him. He loves his job so much, I wish there was a way for him to do it back in NH. Just know, I am
itching dying to move back.